A New Noise Ordinance

This was my response to a noisy neighborhood on Labor Day, 2009.

I submitted this to JSOnline.com. Of course, they never published it.

I also called the Police.

Swift Justice. Confiscate the noisemakers on the spot: all sound amplification equipment; abused car horns; car alarms. Two Police Officers; One Mechanic; One Civilian Witness randomly chosen from the Jury Pool to ride along and direct the team for a single day. The Officers detain and write up the perpetrator while the Mechanic removes and destroys the noisemaker on the spot. No monetary fine. No arrest. No trial. Let them sue. We have an unbiased Witness. The cost of replacing the noisemaker is the fine.

When the cat’s away, the mice will play. The minute the cops leave they defiantly turn the noise back up. 99% of the time a car horn is used both inappropriately and illegally. An automobile horn is a warning device. It is for safety. It is not a doorbell, a musical instrument, a cattle prod, or a device to signal your friends hello.

Only silent car alarms should be legal.

Swift Justice. Big Hammer. Communicate the law. The noise level in this city is a harbinger of Civilization’s decay.

The ability to twist a volume knob is not musical talent. The size of your amplifier is not the measure of a man. That’s just pathetic.

About The Twentieth Man

Age 68
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