As far back as I can remember (even as a toddler) I was exposed to cigarette advertising. You capitalists might not think of this as child abuse but I do.

All the adults in my family smoked cigarettes. Although they’re all dead now, not one of them died of lung cancer. I’m a nicotine addict just like tens of millions of others in this country (and tens of millions more around the globe).

The battle over tobacco goes back hundreds of years and I won’t recap it here. The latest developments are these: What used to cost less than 21¢ a pack now costs $8.00 or more. My addiction is costing me more than a third of my pension. The price increase is not just due to greedy politicians jumping on the bandwagon and raising taxes to take advantage of addicts. The industry raised prices to make up for the revenue they lost through lawsuits. A handful of individuals won judgments against the tobacco industry and the states took over and made billion dollar settlements that are still being paid out. We addicts are supporting the old pols hush money for their ex-mistresses and buying AIDS meds for their current HIV Positive sodomite lovers. Thus, in a roundabout fashion we support much of state government. WE addicts are a revenue stream and a reliable one.

Why don’t I quit? I have no motivation to quit. Monetarily it would not make a substantial difference in my life. The savings would not cover the cost of a rental unit so I still couldn’t move. The potential savings would not cover the cost of owning an automobile. I could buy new shoes but go nowhere. I could buy more and richer food but I’m already overweight. I could buy new clothes or other tawdry status symbols to impress my Mexican neighbors.

If I were to quit smoking it would not make a substantial difference in my life. I would simply suffer the symptoms of withdrawal without any reward.

For those who have quit I want you to know that both men and women have confessed to me that they were in fact posers. Like Bill Clinton said: “I never inhaled”. The posers would light a cigarette (cigar or pipe), wave it around, blowing smoke rings or even “in your face” like some Hollywood bimbo or POSE like a department store dummy. These are the very same people who criticize addicts today. Posers are not true addicts. I inhaled for effect. The cost of running the government was concentrated and shifted from the posers to the true addicts. Do you really want us to quit?

The second development is the mandatory purchase of cigarettes containing FIRE RETARDANT ADDITIVES. For decades past the chemical composition of the fore and aft smoke from cigarettes has been analyzed to death and fought over by a bunch of unscientific hysterical ninnies. When these hysterics rammed through the new regulations they never bothered to study the effects of these FIRE RETARDANT ADDITIVES. Millions of genuine nicotine addicts are now choking and gagging on what once was debatably a benign habit. I smoked cigarettes for 45 years without a problem until they added the FIRE RETARDANTS.

Why don’t I quit? I have no motivation to quit. If smoking adversely affected my health I would have quit a long time ago. It didn’t until the addition of the FIRE RETARDANTS; but still, I have no motivation, perhaps because death is my friend.

The capitalist advertising propagandists hooked me on a highly addictive substance as a child. But you’re still friends with them. For me to quit smoking would be about as painful to me as giving up television would be painful to you. What’s WRONG with you? Why can’t you give up television? Why are you caught up in the hysteria of the hour?

Neither The Scientific Method nor Logic has ever been applied to this subject. Does it make any sense to add untested FIRE RETARDANTS to a substance already considered unhealthy? There is no logical correlation between my longevity and that of the hysterics in charge. Poisoning me and millions of other addicts will not add an hour to their lives. Three score and ten is all that you get.

I’d like to take the opportunity to thank all those hysterical ninnies whose brain fart it was to poison me. Look at my life. Esteemed as I am by society as expendable cannon fodder in war and a surplus wage slave in peace; if the FIRE RETARDANTS shorten my life expectancy: THANK YOU.

DEATH IS MY FRIEND. I Thank God for Death.

About The Twentieth Man

Age 69
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