Monthly Archives: October 2012

How to Catch an Elephant

First, dig a big hole in the ground large enough and deep enough to contain a full-grown elephant once it’s captured. Second, fill the very bottom of the hole with about a six-inch layer of ashes. Third, get some peanuts … Continue reading

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Delusions of Grandeur

Of late, (as I grow older) I find myself increasingly suffering from delusions of grandeur. I blame the politicians. Daily, I become ever more convinced that I am smarter than they are.

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God’s Gift to Women

Women have always treated me like a god – holding me responsible for everything they perceived to be wrong with their lives. I am not God, but I am God’s Gift to Women. Citation for the above: Devlin, Joseph, WEBSTER’S … Continue reading

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The Last Laugh: My Trump Card Revealed

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I Don’t Want To Go To Heaven

I never do want to go to Heaven. Heaven is as involuntary as Life. Heaven is as involuntary as Hell. Oblivion if you please, for me. Annihilation if you please, for me. Heaven or Hell? the Carrot and the Stick … Continue reading

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