Churning Lawyers

“If You’ve Got the Money, Honey I’ve Got the Time.” – Willie Nelson


One of the most frustrating aspects of the Law in a democracy is that, no matter how brilliant an idea, statute, ordinance or institution is, some idiot will come along and change it, reverse it or just tear it down.

There is a saying among lawyers: “Time is money”. Lawyers have no goal in mind other than to make money. They are not trying to solve a problem, right a wrong or secure freedom and democracy for future generations. They just want the money.

They just want to be “on the clock”. So long as there is someone willing to pay them, they will promote, argue for, sue or defend any cockamamie idea under the sun. If you’ve got the money, they’ve got the time. If you are a radical fringe idiot with enough money and you believe the earth is flat, a churning lawyer will fight for the right to teach all children “flat earth theory” in the public schools.

If, as good citizens, we were all properly taught the Law and, finding it a good thing, obeyed the Law – lawyers would starve. But the Law is monopolized by these “barristers” who are the only ones allowed to “leap the bar” and approach the books, the courts, and the Law, and thus, the rest of us are barred from, mystified by, and abused by it.

Time is money – so they say, and when churning lawyers are on the clock they take their own sweet time with it; especially when they’re on the taxpayers dime.

Democracy, false freedom and these ever-churning lawyers will drive you crazy if you let them.

Once upon a time there was no Law – but legislators, sometimes men of great wisdom and foresight, made sound decisions after much deliberation to create a body of Law they felt fit for generations to come. But greedy, shallow, churning lawyers gut the very purpose of the law for their own ends.

Once upon a time Fortune Telling was against the Law – but churning lawyers made this foolishness legal once again. And you had better believe churning lawyers will be back at it in time to come – arguing to make it illegal once again. It’s what they do. It’s all they do.

You might be a genius, you might be a humanitarian, you might be a brilliant professor who dedicated his whole life to helping others; but for all your toiling, some churning lawyer follows close behind you, busily erasing all you’ve written on the blackboard of life. His life cancels yours.

Fortune telling, tattoos, gambling, sexual equality, E-Z divorce, gay marriage, unpasteurized milk; bad ideas are good ideas in the hands of a churning lawyer.

About The Twentieth Man

Age 69
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2 Responses to Churning Lawyers

  1. Jerry Kaye says:

    I’ve been decimated by not one but three attorneys in New York. The first defrauded us. The next two billed time supposedly to defend us … but made no progress other than to discourage us to resign from their “services” once they collected their stupendous fees.

  2. I could tell you stories about my own encounters with lawyers but I’m watching my blood pressure. I get all riled-up just thinking about it.

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