In mid-February 2012 my brother purchased a hand of bananas and brought it home. As was customary he set them out to slowly ripen. For whatever reason this did not occur as expected. He eventually gave up on them and gave them to me to deal with. As I recall they had logo stickers on them identifying them as a product of Dole and coming from Nicaragua.

The first thing I noticed about them was the color. It was, without a doubt, the greenest green I’d ever seen on a banana. The second thing was the amount of exertion, the grappling, teeth-clenching muscle power it took to simply separate one banana from the rest of the hand. Third, it proved impossible to peel one. The bananas were extremely hard and dense, even fibrous, if not to say wooden. I then tried to cut one in half. I first tried a sharp knife, but to no avail. I then tried a serrated knife, and with a vigorous sawing motion I managed to cut one in half. Even after I cut it in half I still couldn’t peel it as one normally would. As they were considered a loss by my brother, I too, gave up on them, assuming they had been picked, packed, and shipped from too far away and too soon in their growth cycle.

I threw the cut pieces in the garbage. On my way out to take out the garbage and just on a whim (based on how tough the bananas had proven to be) I hung the last two whole bananas on a hook on the garage. That was February 2012. It is now February 2013.

They’ve been hanging on the garage for over a year now.

The bananas are now desiccated, mummified, and dried out. They’ve been through snowstorms and rainstorms and even pretty high winds. They’ve lost their vibrant green coloration and have become mottled, lumpy, and drab. Unlike the fallen leaves of autumn and other such vegetation, it seems that the local microbial flora and fauna, and even the local fungi and molds, don’t seem to know what to do with these bananas. They just hang there, day after day.

One-Year-Old Bananas February 24, 2013 (2)  These bananas have been hanging there for over a year now. If they’re still hanging there a year from now, which I doubt: and if I’m still here a year from now, which I also doubt; and if the Internet is still here a year from now, a thing I also doubt; then you may remind me and I’ll post another picture of them – just for the record books.

About The Twentieth Man

Age 69
This entry was posted in Going Bananas, Human Sacrifice, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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