The rhinoceros is on the brink of extinction owing to demand for powdered rhino horn. This extinction is, of course, man-made. The looming extinction is due to ever-growing demand caused by the irresponsible dissemination of the now world-wide common sense knowledge that powdered rhino horn is a miracle cure that can cure almost anything.
Powdered rhino horn is said to cure everything from gout to gonorrhea, lumbago, cancer, dyspepsia, bad breath, the wim-wams, tired blood, acne, fever, teachers’ pet, dandruff, cold feet, earwax, diarrhea, hang-nail, clown-foot, shyness, the yips, chilblains, heart palpitations, unpopularity, wrinkles, ugly-sister syndrome, hairy back, and foot odor, and it is especially effective in curing chronic flaccidity of the male member.
The fact is, one might well call powdered rhino horn a panacea, and that would be fairly accurate but still not exact. While powdered rhino horn is practically a miracle cure for almost everything it doesn’t actually cure everything, and thus, falls just short of the very definition of panacea.
Powdered rhino horn is a common sense miracle cure that will cure whatever it is that is ailing you – with but one exception: the one thing, and the only thing powdered rhinoceros horn can’t cure is stupidity; and that’s scientifically proven.