Shipping and Handling

Dear Shutterfly,

Just what part of the term “FREE” do you not understand? I believe that anyone who uses that term engages in FALSE ADVERTISING. I believe those who do should all be arrested and publicly flogged.

In large print you say the promotional item is FREE but in tiny print you say “Taxes, shipping and handling will apply.” You offer an item of dubious worth – a few pennies to produce; and then gouge the victim for Shipping & Handling. That’s how a lot of people get very rich: Shipping & Handling. If such economic activity ruffles any government bureaucrat’s ethical feathers taxes are included to hush them up.

I set out to receive your proffered FREE gift then hit a wall at the Checkout – there demanding outrageous Shipping & Handling.

Now comes The Catch (there’s always a catch): Your website states (among other things):

“100% happiness guaranteed”.

I am very “UNHAPPY” on two counts:

1) Your use of the term “FREE” in large print is both false and misleading.
2) Your program automatically cropped my father from the personalized photo I proposed to use.

Is this damned shopping bag FREE or not FREE? And do you stand by your customer GUARANTEE?

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About The Twentieth Man

Age 66
This entry was posted in Capitalism, Expository Writing, Going Bananas, Humor, Justice, Personal History and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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