America’s Love Affair with the Automobile

An automobile is a big chunk of the False Freedom we all enjoy. Far too many people are caught up in a feed-back loop of buying a car to get to work in order to pay for the car to get to work with little else to show for all their hectic back-and-forth driving and striving. It is not what an economist would call gainful employment. Gainful Employment means there is some money left over after all the bills are paid. We do love our cars, though.

We now take you to an oft repeated Liberty Mutual automobile insurance television commercial (a young female spokesperson speaks):

“You owned your car for four years. You named it Brad. You loved Brad. And then you totaled him. You two have been through everything together; two boyfriends, three jobs; you’re like: Nothing can replace Brad. Then Liberty Mutual calls and you break into your Happy Dance.”

Scene Transition: A supermarket parking lot:

I pulled into a parking space and got out of the car. In the car parked to my left was a young woman hunched over, her head down low next to the steering wheel, bobbing forcefully and rhythmically up and down. At first I thought she was having a medical emergency of some kind; vomiting perhaps. On closer scrutiny however I discovered she had a DUI IID (Ignition Interlock Device) attached to the steering column. How embarrassing, I thought; to have to do that in public.

I’ll admit it took me a while to put two and two together only to realize she was giving her much beloved Brad a blowjob.

We do so love our cars.

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About The Twentieth Man

Age 67
This entry was posted in Capitalism, Dirty Words, Economics, Humor, Observations, Plain English and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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