August 11, 1981

August 11th is my wedding anniversary.

What do I do on my wedding anniversary?

I pine.

I pine – not for what was; but for what might have been.

From childhood, I knew marriage to be an option – it is a choice that you make. My brother is a life-long bachelor; I had an uncle who was also a bachelor and even a grand uncle who lived the solitary life; not to mention the offer of celibate priesthood from the church. So bachelorhood never seemed in the very least bit unnatural to me. By the time I’d turned 30 I had pretty well determined that I too, would remain a bachelor for the rest of my life.

My life up to that point was all hardship and misery, and I thought it an unmitigated act of selfishness and utterly thoughtless cruelty to bring another human life into this world; only to have that child struggle to live; to be subjected to incalculable pain and suffering, only to ultimately die.

But when God goes fishing for a particular man, He knows exactly what kind of bait to use:

Our son was born a year and a day later.

“I hold it true, whatever befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; ‘tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” – Alfred Lord Tennyson

And to Donna I say:

“Our relationship was truly an emotional roller coaster. Thanks for the ride.”

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