Tag Archives: Language Arts

‘Love’ is a 4-Letter Word

This recent Dear Abby letter is entirely in keeping with what I’ve said previously about the expression “I love you”. It just doesn’t work in the present tense. Most people don’t really know what love is so they choke on … Continue reading

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Universal Health Care (Word Problems)

“I hate word problems!” – a phrase often heard expressing a child’s frustration in many an Elementary School math class. It wasn’t a personal bugaboo of mine however. In Word Problems you’d take a verbal proposition and convert it to … Continue reading

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The Double Entendre

Every day is a little different and today was just the same: I ran into a triple entendre; it could have been a double entendre but I’m pretty sure it was a triple, I’m not sure. Anyway – On my … Continue reading

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Descriptive Writing

A Flavor Packet:  (for lack of a better name)  A pungent chunk o’ lung or mucoid sinus detritus, the result of a hard cough or a sneeze, that brings forth a spicy accumulation of old, toasty (cigarette, BBQ, house afire, … Continue reading

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How to Catch an Elephant

First, dig a big hole in the ground large enough and deep enough to contain a full-grown elephant once it’s captured. Second, fill the very bottom of the hole with about a six-inch layer of ashes. Third, get some peanuts … Continue reading

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Hot Buttons

I believe the expression “hot buttons” has its origins in military jargon. Those who would be most likely to know the true origin of this expression are army doctors, psychiatrists and especially, army chaplains. Psychiatric casualties are inevitable in war. … Continue reading

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The Rape Gangs of Sodom

The term “homosexual” is an exculpatory euphemism for sexual perversion. The term “heterosexual” is a fallacious argumentum ad hominem tu quoque. (argūmentum ad hämənəm tü-kwō-kwē) The term “homophobe” is a self-justifying argumentum ad hominem; that is to say: it is … Continue reading

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